Hi friends! I tried to write this blog post in November. Then again at the end of the year. Then again and again and again through January. Now it’s February. So if you are reading this, you know it finally got published. Woo!!

I grew a lot last year. Well let’s be real… that’s every year.

Some of the lessons I fully embraced in 2023:

• Bloom where you are planted.
• Friends are in your life for a reason, season or lifetime.
• Cherish the season you are in.

Bloom where you are planted.

I have always been an overachiever in life. I knew exactly what I wanted and I was going to make it happen come hell or high water. Then I got divorced and those “life plans” I had got thrown right out the window. I quickly accepted: it’s not my plan, it’s his.

Getting back on your feet after a divorce or any life circumstance is tough. For most people it takes time and truly feels like a huge set back. It definitely was a character building time for me. For the first couple of years, I definitely had more bad days than good days. Eventually the tables turned and I had more good days than bad days. Now it is very rare I have a bad day.

A sling shot has to be pulled back to fly forward… just sayin’! [insert wink]

The first year of being divorced was one of the best! Don’t get me wrong it DEFINITELY had it’s moments. I just focused on myself and kept myself super busy. I traveled, worked a lot and basically kept my calendar booked. My village poured into me and I made lifelong memories. I was a yes person. I had an attitude of I don’t give a f$#k about anyone’s opinion in regards to my life. I just went through the hardest thing I have ever been through and stood up for myself. I felt like I had the confidence of a superhero standing in their power pose with their cape blowing in the wind. Boss.

Then year two… 

Comparison, grief, anger, joy, healing, strength, resilience, sadness, doubt, courage, wisdom, grace… a lot of grace, the self-esteem rollercoaster with all the highs and lows, patience, kindness, understanding, peace and growth…

It was hard. It was messy. It was the year I learned I could feel so broken and so proud of myself all at the same time. Happy and sad could co-exist.

Years three to five were rollercoasters with more ups than downs. I had to grieve the life I thought I would have. I made new memories doing things that were tied to old memories. I started healing my soul. I got really good at knowing when I needed a therapy session and peeling back the emotion onion. Almost too good at times. I learned you have to sit in your feelings for them to process and pass. I received and gave a lot of love to my people. I took each day as it came and soaked up every moment. I had a new outlook on life. I finally understood the magnitude of the smallest and most simplest moments in your day-to-day life. I was blooming where I was planted all along.

Friends are in your life for a reason, season or lifetime.

Cherish the friendships that are in your life and give yourself space to grieve the ones that aren’t. Time will reveal what kind of friend they are.

Cherish the season you are in.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me:

When are you getting married?
When are you going to have kids?

I. would. be. fithly. rich.

Now I understand it’s a common thing to ask someone in their 20/30’s. Society norms and it’s an easy conversation starter. I also understand, when coming from friends and family, they are asking out of love because they want you to experience a great love, marriage, and parenthood. They want you to have the world and then some because you deserve it all and are definitely worthy of it all!

Let me just speak for everyone in their waiting period… questions like these bring on a lot of different emotions. Unfortunately, most of them are negative.

Some days those questions are easily answered and are no big deal. Some days they are annoying. Some days they are just echoes of the negative things someone said to themselves earlier. Some days they are gut punches. Some days they make you feel like you are “behind” in life. Some days they are reminders of what you used to have and what you don’t have anymore. Some days they hit harder than others and some days they have no impact at all.

You can always ask people, “What’s the good news?” or “Tell me something good!” or “Give me a life update! A real update… I’m good won’t work!” Keep it super broad and open ended. Trust me if they have updates in their relationships or personal life they will tell you!

We are all on social media and constantly have the highlight reels in our face. Then you have the comparison trap we all fall victim to at one point or another. Most of us have felt the pressure to be married, have kids and buy a house… like yesterday. It’s just plain exhausting. The highlight reels are in your face constantly. Every event you get asked the same questions. Oh and the flood of emotions when everyone around you is celebrating big moments and you are just hopefully waiting for your turn. You are so genuinely excited for your people and so bummed at the same time. It’s a merry-go-round.

I struggled with this merry-go-round for a while. I would get angry, annoyed, sad, and a long list of different emotions. I just wanted to be married to an amazing man with a beautiful family just living my dream life. I was so damn frustrated because I should already have all those things. I thought I would bounce back from my divorce like it never happened. (L O freaking L) Again, it’s not my plan.. it’s his. His timing and my timing just don’t always line up like I would want it to. Thank God for that!!

While I am waiting on his timing, I often feel like I am sitting with Jesus on a park bench. We are watching people make new friends, get engaged, married, announce pregnancies, have babies and grow their families. Some are on a fast track and others are a little slower path. Like an impatient toddler, I get antsy waiting so I get up and try to make it happen on my own. When it doesn’t, I see Jesus patting the seat next to him to come sit back down. So I have learned to just sit with him until he tells me it is time to get up.

It’s my waiting season. A season of rest, healing, and preparation. He knows I need this season of waiting, so as hard as it is some days I have learned to sit down and wait patiently with him.

This season is sweet though! It is filled with freedom, flexibility, self-discovery, peace, independence, spontaneous adventures, joy and minimal responsibilities. As sweet at it is, it also has its challenges. At times, it is really hard for me to just sit still and wait. I feel like I am missing my chance at certain things, moments and events I have always wanted. Allowing myself to feel all the negative feelings associated with missing out, I have come to terms that certain things may not ever come to me. I really struggled with it at first and now I have complete peace about it. Regardless of what my path is, I know everything will work out exactly how it is supposed to. When it is time for me to enter my next season I will be more than ready for it and will embrace it with open arms… whatever it is. I know this season has prepared me for it. Friend, the season you are in now is preparing you for your next season too.

I have felt every single emotion under the sun the past five years… good, bad and ugly. I grew into an incredibly strong, confident women that I am damn proud of. I went to many many hours of therapy. I spent the money and made the investment in myself. I put in the hard messy work of healing and fought for my old self and future self. It feels like I have learned more lessons in a five year period than my entire life. I finally starting journaling. I got in quite a bit of debt and am so close to paying it off. That is a huge private victory. I learned to trust again. I traveled a lot and made lifelong memories. I learned a lot about receiving and giving grace. Forgiveness is for you and a major part of your journey. I learned to love myself… truly and deeply. I also gained a confidence to stand firm in the decisions I make regardless of what people think or say. Most of all, my faith has increased exponentially over the past five years. I watched God work in so many ways in my life from big moments to the tiniest detail to the healing of my soul. True miracles happened right before my eyes. I got to watch it, experience it, and celebrate it. I felt God’s love deeply. I learned that his love is truly unconditional and his timing is absolutely perfect.

So friends, bloom where you are planted. Cherish the season of life you are in. Soak up these moments because as cliche as it sounds, you will never have these moments again. Love your people and be kind.

Don’t ever forget your worth and how much you are unconditionally loved by God! Oh my goodness he just totally adores and loves you!

Until next time,

Amanda

Hi cutie pies! It’s been a minute since I have blogged… a minute being almost an entire year. I have felt the pull to write many times. I just haven’t made the time to complete posts and publish them. I find myself getting lost in TV shows or social media to wind down after a day of work and a workout. It is mindless and I just want to veg. So let’s get out of that mindless comfort zone a little bit and blog more. Since it’s been a while, let’s keep it short and sweet with an update on all things life.

Since I blogged in November of 2022 I:

I became an aunt to our sweet MNM!

I started teaching a cycle class once a week.

I moved! It was definitely a butterfly moment for me.

I spent a lot of time with family and friends.

I went to Florida to visit family and spent some much needed time by the beach.

I celebrated my friend’s big moments! Weddings, engagements, babies, pregnancy announcements, baby showers, birthdays, gender reveals, and all those in between moments I am so thankful to be on the sidelines for.

The weeks go by so fast when you are busy. Time goes by and memories are made. Everyone is busy with their own routines and schedules. I swear you talk about getting together with a friend and next thing you know three months have flown by and you still haven’t seen each other.

Other than feeling like I don’t have enough days in a week, I have honestly been loving this season of my life. Independence, freedom, healing, peace and joy. I swear I cry happy tears a couple times a week. I am in my 30’s, dating someone, no kids, haven’t bought a house yet, and chasing my career. I believe people often miss the joy of this season because they want to be in their next season so bad. I think you miss out on so dang much and oh what a precious time this is.

Society pressures us to check the boxes and have them checked by a certain time. If they aren’t checked, you are just a big fat loser. My friend that’s a big fat load of BS! Just remember this… it’s his plan and everything in your life, good and bad, is always in his perfect timing. If it is meant for you, it will find you. If it is not, it won’t…no matter how hard you force it or want it. If it is for you, it is already yours.

I struggled after I got a divorce because I felt like I had my one chance at marriage and this life I dreamed of and totally blew it. Which is 100% a lie. It took me a while to believe I was worthy of a great marriage, life and the dreams I have always wanted. I believe it now, but trust me when I tell you there are days I don’t think I am. Oh those silly lies we tell ourselves.

Those boxes don’t determine your success, worth or future for you or me. You are perfectly made in God’s eyes. He knew your people, your community and the whole dang world needed a YOU! It needs your uniqueness, quirks, intelligence, humor and light you can only glow. SO if he knew we all needed you just the way you are, don’t doubt for a second the life he has planned for you. That doesn’t mean it won’t be without struggles, hardships and just shitty situations. That’s okay. That is how he molds you to be the person you are meant to be, to help those around you, and teach you lessons. Beautiful flowers need rain to grow.

Life is a roller coaster. It’s scary, fun and a whirlwind. Just enjoy the journey. Bloom where you are planted. Find the joy exactly where you are. There are lessons to learn, moments to cherish and character to be built. For some people this time is a valley and for some people it is a full blown sprint. I promise you are loved, cherished, and valued even if those boxes aren’t checked. Be courageous and bold in your faith. Don’t ever forget how much Jesus loves you and the plans he has for your life. They are going to blow your mind!

Until next time,

Amanda

Hi friends! Last week I turned 31. Another year down! Woo! This year was great! I learned how to manage a budget/money better. I got better at setting and holding boundaries. I continued my journey of healing my body, mind, spirit and soul. I changed. I gained wisdom, experience, love, empathy, strength, faith, compassion, awareness, purpose, clarity, patience and resilience. I have always had a grateful heart and appreciation for life. I feel like every year, even in the hard years, my heart grows a couple sizes with awe and gratitude.

This year my faith increased, which I feel it does every year. I experienced God’s favor this year. I saw it through moments of abundance when I was questioning how I was able to afford something, how much needed conversations happened in perfect timing, and how parts of my soul have been healed through therapy and prayer. I can say this year I have witnessed miracles, God’s favor and have been able to accept God’s timeline for my life more than I ever have before.

Money was super tight for me for most of this year. I went on a cash budget and only spent the money I had in my checking account. It was hard. A lot of sacrifices were made. I went without quite a bit. I learned to live below my lifestyle and within my means. I learned to make the things I had work. I learned to say no. Some months I had no clue how I was going to make it all happen or do everything I had committed too. There was quite a bit of stress and a lot of moving forward in uncharted waters. I always believed and kept the faith I would be taken care of. I believed it would all work out exactly the way it was supposed to. I would be lying if I said there weren’t times of doubt. Even with doubts, somehow, someway, and God willing I always had exactly what I needed. I went to work, kept the faith and watched God go to work too.

30 was another year of healing. I found a new kind of therapy, Splankna. The best we have come up with to describe it is you are working through prayer with God to heal the roots of your soul. Each session is life changing. You get to the root problem, give it to God with a specific prayer and you experience the miracle healing powers of God. It sounds crazy until you experience it yourself. It’s pretty amazing.

With healing comes good days, bad days and change. Therapy gets a bad rap that it is only for the weak and broken. Wrong. It is for the strong. It is for the people that are choosing to be better and work through the “baggage” of their life. It is not for the weak. It takes strength to ask for help, to actually seek help and implement the changes in your life. I will always be on this “healing” journey. Why not work to be better on a mental, emotional and soul level every year?

Emotional healing is not the only healing I focus on. I also put a huge emphasis on physical improvement and healing too. One thing I do not ever take for granted is my health and the ability to move. I do all kinds of workout classes from weights to yoga and just about everything in between. I enjoy my workouts. I thank God during my workouts. I thank God for the instructors, movement, ability to pay for a gym membership, my pounding heart, sweat dripping from my face, sore/tired muscles and for the ability to move my body. It is truly a gift. A body in motion stays in motion and is something I never take for granted.

Every year the saying, “One day you’ll realize the little things were the big things all along” is one I find to be more impactful year after year. Focusing on the little things in your life have the ability to change your life. It just depends on what little acts you are doing on a consistent basis. Little acts in your relationships can be doing something as simple as setting out a towel when they are in the shower because it will make their life easier. It can be the simple act of showing love and appreciation with a simple thank you or I love you. It can be the simple act of checking in with a phone call or text. It can be the simple act of listening to a story even if you have heard it a million times and aren’t interested in the topic/conversation. Little moments and actions like these make people feel loved, heard, seen and important. Which is what everybody wants at the end of the day. Just remember the reason you get a seat at their big moments in life is because you mastered or care enough about the person to do the little things. The little things matter. They can have a huge impact on people’s lives and yours.

Maybe it just happens when you turn 30, but I gained a different level of self-confidence this year. I am happy in my own skin. I love my heart and who I am. I have quirks. Don’t we all? I am proud of the person I am and who I am becoming. I fight for her every day. I am still the same person I have always been, but I guess we can say new and improved versions happen every year. I don’t know what made me stop caring as much what other people think about my life and the decisions I make. Maybe it is time? Maybe it is wisdom? Maybe it is just the way life is as you get older? I am not sure, but it is definitely a good feeling.

One thing that seems to be consistent or a theme from my 30th year on Earth is gratitude. I can’t tell you how many times this year I would drive down the road with tears of gratitude flowing thanking God for this life I get to live. I am just so thankful for everything. Don’t get me wrong I have my moments where I am angry, frustrated, annoyed, sad and all the different emotions. I just try not to stay in those moods too long. At the end of the day, I believe we all have a choice. I choose to be happy 98% of the time.

At the end of the day, I try to live my life with this mindset:

Be kind. Be brave. Be YOU! God knew the world needed a YOU, so don’t try to be anyone else. You are too precious and perfectly made to be someone else. Love others and help people when you can. Live your life with a servant and grateful heart. Take care of people and God will make sure you are taken care of too. Love and be nice to yourself. If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. Trust the plan he has for your life. It is his plan, not yours. Tell the truth and be honest. Do what is right, not what is always easy. Don’t be ugly. Stand tall, smile and keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter how many times you get knocked down, you can get back up and try again. The only way you fail is when you quit. Life is a beautiful journey. Hands up, big smile and enjoy the ride! You are loved, adored and cherished! Every day is a gift from above, so treat it like one.

Until next time,

Amanda