Hi friends! I have missed you! I went on a cruise a few weeks ago. Let’s just say it was so nice to unplug for a few days and to be tan again. I don’t know why, but I always feel better about myself when I am tan. If you can’t tone it, tan it! I love getting away and sitting in the sun. It is one of my most favorite things to do on the planet. I am very outgoing and will talk to anyone. At the same time, I recharge being alone and getting away. There have been some days I will sit in silence and stare at the ceiling. I just need to stop and chill out sometimes. Vacation does wonders for my soul.

I am learning that I am a “give it all” kind of person…to other people. I will help people, I believe in them more than they believe in themselves, go out of my way for people I care about, jump through hoops and climb mountains for those people. The problem is I don’t do that for myself. Ehh.

On the cruise we had the late dinner, and we were open to sitting with other people. The first night it was just us, but then the second night there was a guy sitting at our table. We started making small talk. You know the norm, “Where are you from? What do you do for work?” Surface level. Well he was a marriage and child counselor. Can yall guess what happened? Therapy session at dinner and guess who was in the hot seat? Me.

When you have someone, a complete stranger, call you on your crap and ask you the hard questions you think about things outside of the conversation. One thing that stuck with me was that I am really good at keeping people at a distance. I don’t let people in because I am terrified of getting hurt again, so I don’t even give them a chance. They could be the best thing since sliced bread, but in my world I don’t even give them a chance to see if they are. If I am being honest with myself, the friends I have in my life right now have all showed up in huge ways and didn’t let me push them away so I let them in and keep them there. Lord knows I hold on to them tight! When it comes to other people, nope. Especially new guys in my life… hell to the no. Of course, when you look at things outside-in you get real with yourself and peel back a couple layers of the onion. You also give yourself the cold hard truth… you know the conversations your real friends will have with you when they call you on your crap. Those. Here we go, friends.

Why am I so scared of being hurt? It isn’t fun. It is forever though? No. Do you grow and learn a lot through times of hurt? Yes. So WHY on Earth do I choose to stay with what is comfortable and not as scary?? Because it’s easier than getting hurt (duh!), which is so ass backwards it’s not even funny.

How do babies learn to walk? By falling a million times and getting back up until one day they stay up. Once they know how to walk, they never look back. That is how it could be for me and you. Really, it can be. It makes me queasy saying that because there is a lot of doubt in my mind when I say it can be like that. To let people in, not look back at your past experiences, and to move forward without fear. Do you feel the same?

Yall I will be the first to admit and my friends would all agree with me that I stop people at my driveway and tell them not to come any further. You are good right there! Something I am trying to be better about is letting people in and letting people pour into me like I do to them. Here’s the funny thing: I would be friends with anyone and love them like they were family. I would cheer them on, listen to them vent, cry or ramble on about random things like the weather, traffic, food, or whatever was on their little hearts. I would encourage and build them up to actually believe in themselves. I would be there for them whenever. I am the friend they could call at 3am and I would answer. They may have to call a couple of times because if you remember I do not get up on my first alarm. My alarm is the same sound as my ringtone, so you may have to call a few times. Eventually I would answer. I would talk to them or whatever they needed. I would be there until they were okay. I would just have a lot of coffee the next day. I am and would be that friend.

So why don’t I let people be that friend to me? I do and trust me I have amazing friends. BUT how many people are out there that could use a friend like me and how many people out there could be a friend like that to me? Probably a lot.

Yall. Jesus loved everyone. He tells us to love him and love our neighbor. Not to judge them or criticize them for whatever you think is right or wrong. Just love them for them. I have always said I would rather have quality over quantity and that is still true to this day. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a number on how many quality people I can have in my life. The more the merrier. Right?

My challenge to you and me (because we are in this together) is to put yourself out there. Let people in. Be a good and true friend to people so they have a chance to be a good and true friend to you. Love people for exactly who they are. Challenge them and encourage them. Be present.

Yall, it’s not easy and there will be times you doubt your self-worth and abilities so much you want to just hide in your house. Be brave my sweet friend. God has your back and I cannot tell you enough that your perfect and beautiful story is already written. He knows the ending and will NEVER bring you to something you can’t get through. If people hurt you, forgive them, be kind and move on. You are strong! You are smart! You are kind! You can change lives and make a difference. You do make a difference. Believe it and go be the good in the world. Be the friend that shows up and is there. Be the friend that jumps through hoops for them. Be the friend that listens and encourages. Be the friend you would want them to be to you.

As always, thank you for spending some of your day with me! It means so much! Have a wonderful rest of your week!! Talk again soon!

Amanda

Hi friends! It has been a while since I have wrote a new blog post. To be totally transparent I have had no clue what to write about. I am a very routine person. I pretty much do the same thing every day. I have a couple fun trips coming up, but as of right now I workout, work, hang out with family and friends and sleep. It cracks me up because sometimes I get on social media and scrolling through I immediately get thoughts that I live a pretty boring life. Well guess what friends, I do. I am okay with that. It isn’t filled with tons of trips, perfect pictures, and a super rockin’ bod. My life is filled with hard work, a lot of coffee/tea, many laughs with friends and family, fun memories made doing simple life things, eating sweets every day (#foodie or #sweetie – can we make that a thing?) and having a really good routine for myself. Which if I had to guess a lot of us live a pretty simple life. Some people may look at simple as “not living” well false my friend. I strongly disagree.

Every day that I am able to hit snooze about 10 times before getting up (it may not be ten, but lord have mercy some mornings it feels like that…it’s more like 5. I am not a person that can wake up on the first alarm. Nope. Not happening. It’s a quirk!), is a gift. Being able to sleep in a super comfy bed, A/C keeping us cool, electricity to turn on lights, alarm clocks, coffee maker, etc., my sweet fur babes snuggled in bed with me, and being able to wake up in my apartment is a dang gift. Every single day I get the gift of waking up I am thankful. I get another day to live, laugh and do my best. It is the first indication my time here is not done.

Now I am a positive person 90-95% of the time. A little Positive Polly. Now I am also a little Negative Nelly some days too. Sometimes I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and am just annoyed. Like meh. Grr. Gah. BUT it is my choice to decide how my day is going to go. Ya feel me??

Exhibit A: Last week I completely slept through my alarm(s) and was late to work. Traffic was a bear which made it worse. Finally got to work and was headed to my first appointment… check tire pressure light came on. Are you freaking kidding me?? Is this real life?! Yes, it is. Oh how sweet it is! I immediately took my car to Discount Tire nearby. Had a nail. Yay. I knew I was getting close to needing to replace my tires. The tread on my front tires was lower than the back. The nail was in the back tire, so I had them replace all four tires. I am in my car so much I would rather be safe than sorry. I am so thankful I was in the financial position to be able to put four new tires on my car and not hesitate. My newest partner at work, Darcey, drove to our appointments that day. We got a sale, had pizza for lunch, delivered some clothes and ended our day on a high note booking appointments. I went home to my sweet fur babes, worked out, made myself a yummy dinner and went to sleep. It was a full day, but a good day. I could have let my morning ruin the rest of my day, but instead I just laughed and found the joy in it. I found the positive in what was a negative. Friends, you have a choice. Choose wisely.

Another fun comparison game I like play is scrolling through social media and thinking I am less than what I am. Friends, I know you have heard it 100 times, but I am here to tell you again… People ONLY post the highlight reel of their life. The good times. MOST people do not post the bad or ugly in their life. Most pictures are edited, the angle and lighting is just right… yall know the deal. I find myself looking at pictures thinking I wish I could look like her, have that relationship, eat that food, live in that house, etc. Again… yall know what I mean. Friends, I don’t know how to pose for pictures (awkward turtle status over here), I have wrinkles, have messy hair, get pimples, am squishy in areas I wish were more toned, have a slight double chin when I laugh really hard because I squish my whole face, and am not the best at editing pictures. I am enjoying the season I am in regardless if I am lonely sometimes. I am learning how to be happy within and doing the things I want to do. I eat healthy food and junk food. I love to cook and do well most of the time, but lord knows I have burned and ruined food which was followed by a grilled cheese or a quick run to Whataburger to save the day. I love my apartment and how it is decorated. It is my little safe place I call home. This little life of mine is so precious and I so cherish the good, bad, and ugly. I am not anywhere near perfect and I love that. I am goofy and have my own quirks. I love who I am and that I am a constant work in progress.

Friends, find the joy. Love your life and yourself. Be brave and be vulnerable. Show people YOU and all that you are. Don’t apologize for your quirks, goofy ways, messy house or life. Embrace it! You will surprise yourself how many people will stick around. The ones that don’t… fu@$ em’ and pray the door doesn’t hit them on their way out. You are incredible! Don’t forget that!

As always, thanks for hanging out with me a little today. Have the most amazing week and don’t forget… you have a choice on how you react to things. Talk soon!

Amanda

Hi friends! Today is a very special day because someone very special in my life is celebrating a birthday!! My good ole’ dad. My first love. The man I look up to. My best friend. The fixer of everything. The guy that always knows exactly what to say or do. My goof ball of a dad. He is the very best and I am so blessed to have grown up with him as my dad. I figured I would tell yall a little more about the man that means so incredibly much to me. This one you may want to grab a cup of coffee or wine. If you are a mom or emotional, you may want to grab a tissue too. Thanks for helping me celebrate him today, friend. This is what life is all about. This right here. The people next to you.

Yall! My dad is A NUT! A complete goof ball who has zero filter. He is a straight shooter and just always tells it like he sees it…whether you agree or not. Sometimes it stings, but a majority of the time he hits the nail on the head with the words he says. You can always count on a honest opinion from him. I cherish his advice and words.

My dad is a doer. My mom, sister and I are convinced he doesn’t know how to stop and do nothing for a day. He is always on the go and doing something. It used to be annoying when we were younger, but man am I thankful to be raised by a man that does what he says he is going to do. If he doesn’t know how to fix something, Lord knows he is going to find a way. He is resourceful and always taught us to be that way too. He would always say,”Don’t tell me why you can’t, just let me know when you have it figured out.”

My dad is just a good man. He is loyal. He is kind. He is loving. He is patient… very patient. Having a house full of girls he had to be. He is attentive. He is understanding and supportive. He will get in your chili when needed, but you know it is always coming from a place of love. He leads with love…always. He is a teacher and teaches us how to do/fix things. My dad encourages us to be better and strive for more. He has raised us to be independent contributors to society.

Something so sweet about my dad is how he treats my mom. My dad LOVES and adores my mom. He still flirts with her after 30+ years of marriage. They are the cutest, yall. He takes care of my mom and she takes care of him. What a sweet marriage they have. He is a man that has set a high bar for other men in my life and a man I look up to. The man I hope is around for a very long time. We have a running bet that he has to live to be 90 and then he can check out. Regardless of his time here, I am just thankful for each time I spend with him or talk to him. The moments with my dad are ones I cherish so very much.

My dad always works hard inside and out of the home. We were always some of the first kids dropped off at daycare and the last ones to be picked up. My dad would always make us a priority. Even to this day he does. I could go on and on and on about how great I think my dad is, but something so fun about blogging is being able to go back and read things you wrote about. I know my dad is great. He always has been. Something I want to cherish are the memories I have made with him. The moments he showed up in big ways. The moments that seemed so small to him that were so big to me. Want to hear a few?

My dad is my workout buddy. I have been working out with him since I was 12. On the weekends I would help him with chores and whatever else he needed help with. I enjoyed chores because it meant I got to spend time with him. Sometimes I was exhausted and over it, but my little heart was so happy spending time with him. Another fun fact about me, quality time is my number one love language. Coincidence… I think not.

When I was younger my dad had a rule (he had a lot of rules), but this was one.. if we ever needed to talk and it didn’t matter what time of the day it was he would stop what he was doing and listen to us. We called them fireside chats. They were heart-to-hearts and whatever was said in that conversation… stayed. Junior high was tough for me and those fireside chats kept me alive. They kept me going. I knew at the end of the day my parents loved me and would always be there for me. Fireside chats still are a thing today. He always makes time to talk to me. Something that means so much to me is that he calls me a couple times a week on his way home from work. He knows I am at home alone and nights are when my mind races the most. He calls and we talk for about an hour. We talk about everything and anything, solve the worlds problems or just talk about our days. Yall, these calls are the best. They make my day.

My dad raised me to be independent. Very independent. He taught me how to manage a house and all the responsibilities that come with it, manage my money, work hard at my job and work towards the things I want, be a good person, how to fix things, and be resourceful. The list is never ending. He made it to where I didn’t need a man to take care of things… that would just be a bonus… I could do things on my own. I actually had the nickname “Mule” for a while because I was his helper for all projects. Putting in the sprinkler system, fixing sprinkler heads, moving heavy tile boxes, moving furniture, mowing yards, etc. I was his work horse… or mule… I like work horse better though – ha!

Something that has always stuck with me are certain sayings he always says. He used to tell me,”Quitting is not an option.” He would push me to be better, drive me to all my sports/karate classes, practice with me and he taught me that anything you want you can have if you work for it. Sometimes if you aren’t the best you need to spend more time getting better. It is always easy when you know and if there is a will there is a way. Both of my parents worked and were always pulled in 50 different directions, but they made time for us. To help us be better in every area of our life. As an adult, thank God!! I am SO thankful they took the time when we were younger to be present in our lives and SO thankful to this day they still are!

My dad and I got our black belts together. We water-ski together. We hang out and go out dancing together. My dad is so much fun!! He has helped me move. He helped me muck out our house when it flooded from Hurricane Harvey. He picks up my dogs when they babysit them. He workouts with me. He listens to me. He supports me and encourages me. He is my biggest cheerleader and someone I admire so much!! My dad is one of the best men I know and I hit the jackpot when God chose me to be his daughter. Yall, I could go on and on and on and on and on about my dad. I could sit and tell you so many stories of how goofy we are, times he has been there in big and little ways, how great he is, advice he has given, and then some. He is my best friend and I will love him forever and always! Happy birthday to my sweet dad!! May this year be incredible!!

Just a heads up you will hear about him a lot on this blog so just get ready. Thank you for reading and spending some of your day with me, friends! Be the joy and shine bright! This life is so sweet… even when it beating you up a little. Hang in there! Have an amazing day!!

Amanda

The weekend that forever changed my life a year ago…is this weekend. I sit here in my apartment alone and think about how far I have come, but also how sad I am at the same time. When I think about how much has changed in a year, how much I have grown, how much life I have lived counted by the amount of full days I have had, etc. I am thankful….even though it has been a struggle for most of it. On the other hand, I think about what my life would be like today, how our home would be decorated or the memories made in our home, trips we would have taken, experiences we would have to reminiscence on, and all the green beer I would be drinking with my husband this weekend on St. Patty’s Day. My heart hurts today. I am angry and upset on one hand, and happy and proud on the other. What a freakin year it has been. Something that I have really made a conscious effort about is allowing myself to feel the feelings I am feeling, but understand what is triggering them. Being happy, angry, sad, peaceful, etc. is just an effect from a cause. I try to understand what my triggers are so I have a better handle on how I will feel in certain situations.

I look back on how I could have done things different in my marriage. How I could have been a better wife. etc. The list goes on and on. To name a few… I would have told my husband how proud I was to be his wife… every. single. day. I would have made it my mission to fill his love tank in the ways he felt most loved. I would have said thank you’s and I love you’s more. I would have made it a priority to spend more time with him and to actually do the things we always talked about doing. Little things from doing something around the house or trips and everything in between. I would have done them all. I would have listened more and asked more questions about him. He was always really good about listening and switching the conversation back to me. When he said he didn’t want to talk about things because they were a sensitive subject, I would have pressed a little harder to get to know him better. Peeling back the onion…there are so many layers. I would have been more affectionate to him in little and big ways. I would have communicated better when I was struggling and allowed him to help more. I am a little stubborn and like to do things on my own. Many lessons learned this past year. I would have done a lot of things a little different.

Now of course, when things happen people always say what they would have changed, done better, different, etc. I think you should learn from every experience good and bad. There are things I would do the exact same if I had to do it all over again. I would have continued to love him through it all. I loved him when he was working four jobs to pay for school/life when we were in college and when he was making good money to provide a lifestyle we didn’t have to stress about. I accepted him when he didn’t have much and loved him the same when he did. Material things and money aren’t a huge factor in my book. Love is more important to me than money and having all your wants/desires. It’s the person next to you that matters the most. I always felt like if I had him and the love we shared, we could get through anything and would always be okay. I provided for our family. Not always monetarily, but in having dinner made, lunches packed, breakfast made, sweet notes in his lunch or work bag, hugs and kisses on the way out the door and back in, listening ears, being a go-to dance partner whether it was out or in our kitchen, someone to always laugh at his jokes, the stability in having someone that could take care of the house when he was out of town so much, and being a constant love in his life. This list could also go on. I would be the caring and sweet person I have always been.

Make no mistake, my ex husband was not a bad person. He was actually incredible and so good for me in SO many ways. He was so much fun, hard-working, kind, smart and loving. He just made a mistake that would cost him his marriage and mine. It hurts me every day to not have him in my life. I think about him often and what my life would have been if I would have stayed. I knew in my gut I couldn’t. I made the decision I thought was best for me and acted on it regardless of how painful it was.

The thing that a lot of people don’t talk about it that you have to grieve your divorce just like you grieve a death. There are five stages and it is not 1,2,3,4,5 wabam you are healed. There is no particular order. The stages will come and go. You think you are getting better and you will feel like you got hit by a freight train one day and back at square one. You aren’t, but it feels that way. You never know how much time it takes to heal from things like this. There isn’t a time table. The ONLY person that knows you are okay, is the person wearing the shoes… you. Not the person that has walked in their shoes before. No shoes are the same. No person’s story is the same. You never know what someone is going through because 99.9% of people never share everything they are feeling, experiencing, etc., because being vulnerable is scary and terrifying and there is a huge fear of rejection involved. On the other hand being vulnerable lets people in and brings comfort that there are people in the world going through the same thing you are. There is comfort in numbers.

Everyone has their own struggles and has to process things on their own. The biggest thing for the people in their life is to just be there for them. Ask how they are doing and really mean it. Know that most people will say, “I’m good.” when they really aren’t. I have been one of those people before. Friends, hug your family, significant other, boyfriend/girlfriend, friends or just the people in your life and let them know you love them. Never be afraid to tell people how you really feel because life is short. Fill their love tank and figure out what ways they feel most loved. Communicate and let them know how you are feeling. Most importantly, take time for your loved ones and make them a priority. At the end of the day, it is the people beside you that matter the most.

Thank you for spending some of your day with me and reading along. I truly feel like I am sitting and catching up with a good friend writing this. I hope you feel the same. Thank you for being YOU! Have an amazing day and go make wonderful memories you will look back in a year and laugh about. Spread and be the joy, friend!

Amanda

Hi friends! This week was a good and long week. I was at our corporate office for leadership training. It still amazes me how much my company pours into each individual to become a better version of themselves. When I was gone all week the word that kept pulling on my heart strings during prayer was unanswered prayers. Not Thank God for unanswered prayers, just unanswered prayers. Kind of strange, because I am very aware of God not answering all my prayers but it doesn’t seem like something I am struggling with right now. For the first time in my life, I am not worried or concerned with the future. I know it will be good regardless of what happens. I can feel it in my bones. But I am also very aware that most people don’t feel that way. Most people stress about their future and what it holds. Well I hope my words can bring you some peace. I hope you can feel Jesus give you a big ole’ hug and a whisper in your ear saying,”I’ve got this. Have faith. Trust me on this one. It’s going to be good.”

The funny thing about unanswered prayers is when they aren’t answered I tend to get pissed off. Frustrated and begin to question things. Another little fun fact about me is I like to be in control. I am called the mama of my friend group for a reason. When I look back on prayers that weren’t answered I definitely stop and Thank God for not answering my prayers…now. Have you ever been there too?

When I was in college I was a management major. I took a sales class as an elective and really enjoyed it. I became a sales ambassador for the sales program which I was not qualified for because I was a management major, not a marketing major with a professional sales concentration. 100% God thing. Back then we were assigned corporate partners. I was assigned Tom James. I met the recruiter, Katie. Yall she was classy and well spoken, but most of all she was kind. She was SO nice and just real. A straight shooter. She walks in a room and captures people’s attention. She is a one-of-a-kind person and someone I immediately looked up to and still do to this day.

Being a sales ambassador you get one-on-one time with the recruiters which is a huge benefit to a senior in college needing a J.O.B post graduation. Another fun fact, I am also a straight shooter. She asked me if I wanted to go into sales. Yeah no thanks! I am doing this so I can add another line on my resume. She asked me if I would entertain doing a ride along day with her. Sure! What did I have to lose? Well to keep a long story short, I actually really liked it. When I graduated I had two job offers. One from Tom James and the other from a smaller power company I interned with my senior year. I turned down the offer from Tom James and went to work for the other company. I worked there for about two years and kept in touch with Katie. Which again is a God thing to me because how many people keep in touch with the recruiter when they turn down the job?!

Anyway, I got laid off from my last job and Katie called me the same day I had verbally accepted a job with another company and was told I was going to be receiving my last paycheck on said day. After talking to Katie, there was an opening in Houston and she could get me in for an interview the very next week. 15 minutes later I turned down the other job, put all my eggs in one basket, and went to the interview the very next week. I got the job and started working in February.

Three years later I am still here and involved in quite a few roles. When I look back on the last three years I cannot tell you how many unanswered prayers I have had. Countless times I thought God had thrown me to the wolves, but instead he was behind the scenes moving so many different things around so when the timing was right I was truly ready. There were plenty of times I thought I was ready to take more on my plate, but looking back now I definitely wasn’t. Leadership, hiring people, being more involved with training, etc. That’s the thing yall. He has already read the book. He knows exactly what is coming up and on our horizon. We have no stinking clue… which is also the cool part too. How different would you live your life if you knew how the whole thing played out? I don’t think I would make as many mistakes, but that’s when you learn the most so what’s the fun in that?

There was a couple amazing women I was slotted to hire. They both backed out and I was bummed about it. But fast forward and the weeks they were going to be a sales school I was either dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey or moving out of my house and going through my divorce. I definitely wasn’t in the right head space to take more on my plate when some days just getting through the day was my only concern.

The moral to the story is God knows your story. He is sometimes quiet and holding things back from you for your own good. He knows exactly what you need even if that means a challenge to build your character. Yall, God is so good. He loves you and wants you to live an abundant life. He designed that for you. Each of us have our own story. There are going to be challenges. There are going to be times when you shake your fist at God and feel like he is no where to be found when you may need him the most. But, friend, he is there and it’s okay to do that. I promise. He is controlling everything you can’t see. It reminds me of a play. You are on stage and he is controlling the lights, sound, camera, etc. The whole dang thing.

There are a lot of other times I could go into detail about unanswered prayers… guys I liked that didn’t like me back, opportunities, events, etc. The list could go on and on… and on. When unanswered prayers kept pulling on my heart strings last week I was trying to figure out what he was telling me. I believe it was for a few reasons. One to make me stop and smell the roses. Two to share with someone reading this blog that is in a situation where God isn’t answering their prayers right now. Three as a reminder. If it’s not any of them for you, that’s okay too. I hope you hear on your heart his words that he has you. He has your back and will never bring you to something you can’t get through. He loves you and adores you for all that you are. Heck! He was the one that created you. Go out and let your little light shine, friend! You are beautiful!!

As always, thank you for spending some of your day with me! Have the most amazing week!!

Amanda