Hi friends! This one is going to be real, raw and one I have had on my heart for a while. I am going to be 100% transparent, honest, and just lay it out there. We don’t judge around here. K. If you are a Judgy Jane, just leave now.

Body image. It is something everyone struggles with. Everyone. Whether you think you are too thin, too fat, too [fill in the blank]. We all have things we want to change about our body. Fair?

I have social media accounts. I love a good filter. You can go from looking homeless to glam in a swipe. I don’t do the face tune app of whitening teeth, smoothing fat parts, clearing your skin or whatever else you can do with that app. I can never whiten my teeth without smearing my entire face. #fatfingers I definitely crop pictures, change lighting, use filters, etc. to create a better picture. I creep on people when I want to play detective to find something out. When in reality it is just a narrative I came up with using context clues based off the highlight reel of their life.

When a friend calls me about an ex dating someone new and she feels insecure, I tell her to look at the tagged pictures. Why? Because everyone posts the best pictures of themselves. You want to see what someone really looks like go look at their tagged pictures. I have fat rolls when I sit down. I love my legs, but when I cross my legs I have some cellulite on the side of my upper thigh that I don’t love. I critique pictures of myself and am picky on the normal problem areas… stomach, back, arms, legs, etc. Then I want to take the picture again thinking it will be different. I cannot for the life of me figure out how people take pictures in the right angles. Put your foot here, leg here, turn your body here, put your hip out, weight in one leg. I mean for the love are we taking pictures or playing twister?! I would probably get a better picture playing twister. HA!

I love pictures! I love the memories they capture. Candid pictures are my favorite! I love when true, raw and real emotions are captured. I am not a judgy person in the sense I won’t hold anything against a person for what you do, wear, say, etc. Different story if you are being disrespectful, rude, a bully… those things don’t fly around here. Don’t be a jerk. If you are living your life and just doing you. I am all about it and fully supportive! You do you boo!

On another note, most of my life I was bigger than my peers. I went through puberty early and have always been a taller kid. I was in the 95th percentile most of my childhood. I grew a foot, a freaking ruler, in one year. I was an athlete. Bigger legs, tall, and broad shoulders. The guys I had crushes on always went for my friends. They were tiny and cute. I was massive. That wasn’t the reality, it was just how I felt. I would constantly question why I wasn’t good enough in the looks department? The nail people would always tell my sister she was so tiny like baby. They told me I was healthy. Thank you very much. That messes with a kid/teenager when all they want to do is fit in and be accepted for who they are.

Today, I am still tall. My body is different. I am more toned and thin. I see the thin Amanda a majority of the time. I am comfortable in my own skin 95% of the time. There are times I still see big Amanda when I look in the mirror or in pictures compared to my friends. I see the rolls, fluff, squish. In those moments, I am very critical of my body and how I look.

Let me let you in on a little something… EVERYONE looks at pictures and critiques themselves. EVERYONE wants to change things about their body. EVERYONE is a work in progress and trying to find their way. EVERYONE is dealing with something and has insecurities. I don’t care how attractive, fit or whatever else they are. They have something they wish was different/better.

Little PSA: Take care of your body. Live a 80/20 lifestyle. Food, exercise and sleep can fix a lot of health issues. A lot. Also, quit worrying about the number on the scale or the size on your clothes. Buy clothes that fit and flatter your body. Who gives a rats ass what size clothes you are wearing. When you try to fit into clothes you used to wear that don’t fit anymore (big or small) it is not cute! You are either busting out of them or being swallowed up. Last time I checked, most people don’t tell you how cute you look and then ask,”Oh what size is that??” Swallow your pride and buy what fits you best!!! Moving on.

Here’s the deal friends! You are beautifully made. You are precious! God knew the world needed YOU! Are you going to be confident in your own skin after reading this? Maybe more than you did before, but it’s not an overnight change. You have to intentionally change your thoughts. It is a constant work in progress. In the meantime, I am here to encourage and remind you of a few things.

You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Perfect. Yes, you!

The world needs a YOU… just as you are.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are comparing yourself to the models in magazines, on TV, and all the people on social media. Editing is very powerful. It is also not real. You see what will fit in the screen of their phone. You don’t get to see the whole picture.

I have personally never struggled with eating disorders. If you have, get help. There are so many resources that will help and want to help. That doesn’t define you.

You are enough. You are more than the number on the scale or size of shirt. You are SO MUCH more than that.

You, my friend, are valid in your feelings/insecurities. You just can’t stay there. Embrace all that you are inside and out. You can be the most beautiful person in the world and have an ugly heart. That makes you are the ugliest person in the world. How you treat people and yourself matters so much more than how good you look.

Wear what makes you feel best! You love color, rock it! You love neutrals, rock it! Wear it with confidence and you can rock any outfit!

Friend, you are beautiful. Truly beautiful. God doesn’t make mistakes. Ever. Don’t ever forget that.

Have the best day!! If you can’t get the right angle either, you aren’t alone. Laugh in our awkwardness! Laughing pictures are the best anyway! Thank you for spending some of your day with me! So much love and good vibes sent your way!! Until next time!

Amanda

Hi sweet friend!! Today is going to be great! I am a cup half full kind of girl. I always try to see the positive even in the worst of times. There are a few things I have been extra thankful for lately. Let’s go into some detail because we keep it real around here and we share it all…well most of it. Yall don’t need to know everything. HA!

First, I am extra thankful for unanswered prayers.

Oh friends, have you ever dated someone and thought oh this is it?? It doesn’t work out. You find yourself saying,”Whyyyy???” You see them weeks, months or years later and say,”THANK GOD!!!” Oh I have… more than once. Still do. The guy I am dating now is amazing. Truly. The fact that I, Amanda, get to date such a ten just puts a big ole’ smile on my face and a glow you can only get when you are genuinely happy from the inside out.

Hi friends, My name is Amanda and I am planner to the core. (Acceptance is the first step. Just kidding! This isn’t new.) My boyfriend jokes around and says if there was a plan on how to make a plan I would be the one behind it. [insert eye roll] He flies by the seat of his pants and doesn’t plan a single thing. He keeps life fun and spontaneous. It is a great balance! As much as it drives me insane, I love it at the same time. He keeps me on my toes and keeps life interesting.

Well I had a 5, 10 and 15 year plan. Everything was tracking right along. Then wabam, all gone. Adios amigo! Fast forward a few years, I am SO THANKFUL that God didn’t fulfill those prayers, desires, or “plans”. He blew those out of the water ten fold. I would go through everything I went through 100 times and then some to have the life I have now. The relationship I have with my family, friends, boyfriend, and his family are incredible. I used to dream of what I have now and I truly thought it was never possible. Well, spoiler alert, it is. I am living it now.

Thank God for unanswered prayers!

Second, I am extra thankful for my prayer journal.

A while ago, one of my good friends challenged me to start a prayer journal. Getting your prayers on paper and being able to go back to see what prayers have been answered is one of the coolest things ever. You often think about the “big prayers” you want God to answer and we often question his faithfulness when those prayers don’t get answered. Friends, get a prayer journal and start writing out your prayers. Go back and look at all the prayers he has answered. It will blow your mind, make you smile and feel like you got a big ole’ bear hug from the man upstairs himself! It’s also really cool to see how God will answer prayers through other prayers. For example, he will bring certain people into your life that will introduce you to other people that will ultimately answer a different prayer. It’s crazy cool! The thing I love most about a prayer journal is it is a constant reminder God is so good. So so so good! We are taken care of. He hears you. He loves you. He has your back.

Thank God for prayer journals and his faithfulness.

Third, I am extra thankful for friends.

This is a given. Yall know how I feel about my people. I love them big… duh! Here’s the deal though, each moment, conversation, etc. I have with them I just soak. it. up. I just feel so so so thankful every day for them, each time they show up, and when they stay true to the incredible people they are… I have to pinch myself. I, Amanda, have these people in my life. I was chosen to be their friend and vice versa.

Thank God for my people.

Friends, when you let God go to work and trust him 100% that he has your back. When you know to your core you are taken care of. He will blow your freaking mind and any life you thought you would have it will be 10X better. I am not saying it be without bad/hard times. I am just saying God works in huge ways when you let him. Take a look around. What is in your life right now that you know is from him? Everything. Sounds grand. It is and so is he.

Nothing in life is a coincidence. Ever. We call them God winks around here!

Go find those God winks in your life. Start a prayer journal. Be a good person. Have an incredible day!! You are loved, cherished and an answer to people’s prayers! Thank you for spending some of your day with me! I appreciate it! Until next time!

Amanda

Hey cutie patootie! Hanging in there still? Good. You got this girl! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. It is no secret I love my people in my life BIG! I love them like family and always make room for anyone and everyone. Well just come on over here my friend! You and whoever you bring is welcome. People are shocked with how many good people I have in my life and how we can all be together with very little to no drama. The “how” question is pretty quick to follow most of the time. I’ll let you in on the how… it’s not hard and you can have good people in your life too. Just remember friendship is a two-way street. Not an even two-way street, just a two-way street. I will explain later.

I have always been a vibey person and can pick up on a person’s character pretty quick. There are times I have been off. A majority of the time I am spot on. Believe it or not, I am a pretty reserved person when I first meet you. I am more of an observer. Once you know me, you’ll get the Amanda that is super loving, loud, always down for a good time, a lot of sass, humor, sarcasm, and a big dollop of personality. That Amanda, the one that let’s you into her life, will love you forever unless you give her a reason to kick you out of her life. See I don’t play with the drama and petty bullshit. Nobody has time for that and I don’t associate with jerks.

People mess up. Friends will piss you off. You will disagree with someone. You won’t have the same views. Hello, that is life!! Get your panties out of a wad, open your mouth, and have a conversation about it! It is okay to disagree. It is okay to not see the same. That is healthy. That is what makes this world unique. The world needs all kinds of kinds to go around and around. When you have a conversation be real and transparent, admit your mistakes, and say sorry. Just own it! You forgive and you move on still loving that person. Your friendship will be better because of it. If you can’t move past it, then move away from it. Bye, girl! I just wasn’t the person for you and you weren’t the person for me. That is OKAY!

You aren’t going to be everyone’s apple pie! Be okay with that. I struggle with it sometimes. I really did when I was younger. You just want to be liked by everyone. Now with some wisdom I would go back to my younger self and tell her those exact words.

See sister, you are someone’s answer to their prayers. They have been looking, praying and patiently waiting for a friend like you their entire life. You, as you are right now, an answer to so many prayers. I believe to my core friendship is one of the most precious gifts on the planet. You need friends. You need people in your corner that you can always count on. That is what gets you through anything and everything life throws at you.

A lot of the friendships I have today is because I semi-forced myself into their lives. Hi, that’s me! Haha I called just to talk. I invited them places. Even when they said they couldn’t go, I kept inviting them. I got vulnerable with them. I asked for advice. I was the friend I wanted I have. I found good people and didn’t let them go. I joke around with them and tell them they are stuck with me forever… sorry, not sorry! Really though, how many times have you met someone new and thought,”Gosh, I just want to be her or his friend?” I challenge you to make that friendship happen. Just be brave! They probably think you are pretty cool too!

Remember when I said friendships are a two-way street? The reason I say they aren’t an even two-way street is because sometimes you are going to put in more effort and other times you will take more. Friends are there through it all with no judgement. You love them through every season and life turn. There will be times when you are in different seasons and won’t talk or hang out as much. Just make time for it and give your friends a lot of grace. Everyone has a lot on their plates. A lot. There’s give and take in every relationship and grace is key. Thoughts??

The most special friendships I have grew deep roots when we have been there for each other during tough times. Quite a few of my friends have been divorced. We all agree we would never wish divorce on our worst enemy. It’s the worst. Really, it’s terrible. We have all grown a ton from it. We have all learned about ourselves and have made major strides to properly heal so we don’t drag our nonsense into another relationship. We are all a constant work in progress…you too!

Those friends were answers to my prayers and still are. They are my angels on Earth. They are all different and all so special to me. When you are called to be a friend to someone, be that friend. God is using you for his purpose. He is moving through you to change that person’s life. He is using you to show them his love. Gosh, what a gift! Friend, cherish that calling and step up to the plate! Be there. Your life will be better for it. I promise.

Friendship is precious and something I am so thankful for. It just makes my heart grow and gives me that genuine glow from the inside out. You never know the impact your friendship will have on someones life.

Life is short. Be kind. Be a good person.

Thank you for reading along and spending some of your day with me! Until next time!

Amanda

Hey pretty peeps! I have so many thoughts, ideas and words ready to share with you. I am so excited! Many people have asked if I could write again. Yes, absolutely! Here we are. Got your drink? Got your blanket? Ready to catch up? Yes. Yes. YES! Let’s go!

I think we can all agree 2020 is a weird year. A lot of bad and a lot of good. Just an overall feeling of weird. Well I have had my fair share of “life storms” and I have a feeling there are a good chunk of us that are experiencing those life storms now. Before I dive any deeper, I just want to remind you/a little PSA. The key here is I haven’t been in your storm and you haven’t been in mine. Is there a possibility they are similar, yes. Same, no.

Friend, life is unfair. It is. You don’t get a participation trophy. You may work really hard for something and it gets taken away from you. You may deal with extreme loss, illness, or whatever terrible thing that is happening or happened to you. Life is unfair.

Friend. Get your cute butt up, wipe those tears off or cry the entire time, put one foot in front of the other and get walking. You walk towards the things you want, put those pieces of your life back together, cry it out, do the things that bring you the most joy, be angry, and you feel all those feelings. You cannot run or hide from them. You have to face them. It’s messy. It’s hard. You my friend, are strong, brave and by God you will get through it. Just move. Now. Today… not tomorrow. You have said tomorrow too many times.

It’s not fair. I know. Your life isn’t what you wanted. You wish it was different. You wish a million different things compared to your current reality. Well guess what it isn’t your plan. It’s his. The plan you are living is made for you to prosper. To thrive. To be better than you can imagine. You can’t have flowers without the rain. You don’t know what this chapter is preparing you for.

Little reminder, these moments are when you grow the most. This is when you are shaped the most. This is when you find out the good, bad and ugly of who you really are. It’s messy. It’s hard. It’s also beautiful. Stay with me…

Hurricane Harvey rocked our world. You should never have to evacuate your home. Ever. That is your safe place. We floated out of our house on an air mattress with a weeks worth of clothing, important documents, our fur babe and a sinking feeling in our stomachs. We knew it was going to be bad. What mattered in life got put in perspective real quick. Those material things we worked so hard for could be replaced. Our health, my fiance, dog, family and friends could not. I knew as long as I had them everything else would be okay. We would get through it. Fast forward, we did. It was hard and I learned a lot of life lessons. I was stronger because of Hurricane Harvey. God knew I needed THAT life moment. He knew what was coming.

Fast forward nine months later, I had to find my inner strength to serve my new husband divorce papers. Ouch. I just thought I was down in the dumps with the hurricane. Oh man was I in for a ride!! 100 days. I cried 100 days in a row. I know it was 100 days because on day 101 I was laying in bed thinking about my day and realized I didn’t cry all day. Got to thinking and couldn’t remember the last time I cried. Tracked it back in my calendar and exactly 100 days. Wow! Go me!

I could have laid in bed for those 100 days and never saw the light of day. People would have been understanding. I didn’t. I went to work. I worked out. I talked to friends. I hung out and made memories with people. I found all the things that brought me joy and did them. At first, everything was tied to a memory with my husband. Everything, and I mean everything, triggered an emotion. Most were negative emotions at first. Eventually they became happy triggers. I was surviving and living my life. I wouldn’t go as far to say thriving. I was putting one foot in front of the other and moving in the direction I needed to go. It was hard. Looking back now, that was strength!! I am proud of THAT Amanda. She pulled up her boot straps and just figured it out. I was bruised, broken, discouraged, but I got back up every single day. I didn’t let it keep me down. Trust me there were times I would cry throughout the entire day and barely keep it together. There were also amazing days of pure joy, laughter, and genuine love for my life. I eventually had more good days than bad. Now the flowers in my field are gorgeous! There are definitely some days of rain. Just not as many as before.

Thank you God for giving me just the rain I needed to thrive.

Sweet soul of a friend, you my dear are oh so brave. Things may be tough or you may be recovering from a “life storm” or you are just trying to figure things out… hang in there! Let the people you love in your life be there for you, lean on them, be selfish with your time and what you allow in your life. Sit it the moments and learn to dance in the rain. It will wash away what is meant to wash away. It will nourish the things that need to be nourished. You will come out better on the other end as long as your put one foot in front of the other and focus on getting what YOU want. Be healthy. Make good decisions and take care of yourself. You may be catty sometimes, but you do not have nine lives. You have one. Be nice to yourself.

Until next time friends! Thank you for always reading along and spending some of your day with me! Have a fabulous week!

Amanda

Hi friends! Let’s skip the small talk and dive right in. I am struggling. I struggle with a lot right now. Let’s walk through each one idivudally so you know you aren’t alone if you have EVER felt this way. We will talk about social media, poltics, people, body image, and maybe something else. That’s a good start for now. Grab your coffee… screw that! Grab yourself a margarita or whatever your adult drink of choice is and let’s get to talkin’!

First and foremost, I have such a love/hate relationship with social media. There are days I want to be completely off the grid and then others I love the connections made and information shared. Lately, I find myself comparing every single happy thing I see to myself and how I am not enough. PHAHA Lord. I can’t believe I just typed those words so you can read them. I told you when I first started this blog I would keep it real. A promise is a promise. Back on track… I am 28, divorced, no kids, living in a one-bedroom apartment and have felt I have gone “backwards” in life ever since my divorce. Well I really just feel that way when I get down in the dumps because I can be real dramatic sometimes and I just flip the cup over from half full to half empty in about 0.2 seconds.

Real life is I am 28, divorced, dating an amazing man, in a healthy relationship, surrounded by the best friends and family a girl could ever wish for, in a little bit of debt, working to create a better life for me and my two fur babes, and enjoying the heck out of life. That’s real. I am enough. I am right where I am supposed to be. You are too, my friend. Even if it’s a shitty season.

Politics, the news, articles on social media… is driving me insane. It is all over the place. You can’t trust anything you read unless you dive down and find the truth. Then the truth is terrifying and you just pray Jesus comes and takes you to Heaven before the world ends. It makes me feel hopeless and question what’s the point of working, traveling, etc. We have a few months and things are looking like they are going to get real cray cray. I believe it is extremely important to know what is going on in the world. I also wish I could be a little butterfly in the wind and have no clue what is going on at the same time. Regardless, this world needs Jesus in a huge way so in the meantime I am keeping it together, talking to people about the things I believe are real and true and constantly reminding myself I am not in control of really anything that happens. Not a single thing and for my controlling, type-a self… mehhh!! We are a hot mess express and constant work in progress over here. Just a little public service announcement actually LISTEN to people when they are talking. Don’t just hear what they say and immediately put them in a stupid little box that they are a “certain way”. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. You may learn something.

Speaking of prayer… I talk to Jesus a lot. I don’t pray the traditional prayer like Dear God…. That’s not my jam. I am more of a, “Hey God! I know you already know what happened, but I am going to tell you anyway.” I talk to him like he is my BFF. The best thing is you can tell him the same story 100 times and he never gets annoyed. It’s the best. I also, pray and voice my opinion of when I am mad, hurt and sad. Those prayers are more of a, “Hey God! Where ya at?! I just want you to know I am freaking pissed at your right now!! Your purpose is better and I know there is a reason to whatever you want to call this. Right now I am not a fan. Just wanted you to know. K. Bye. Love ya!” Normally those are said when I am crying in the shower because where else do you cry? It just washes your feelings away and sometimes you just need a good cry. I don’t like crying in front of people or where they can hear me. Like I said, we keep it real around here and people don’t talk about the struggles they go through. We just love peaches, sunshine and all the joy. Which I do too, but when you don’t talk about the struggles people experience they feel 10X worse about themselves when they do struggle. It brings all the feelings of not being enough, hiding their feelings from people out of embarrassment because they think people would judge them if they knew how they were really feeling. I have been there before and sometimes still do feel that way.

In most cases though, when you open up to someone about your struggles they are supportive, encouraging and have been in very similar shoes before. Most people just don’t like sharing the bad/ugly of their life… who does?! To keep it simple, friends, he wants a REAL relationship with you. He loves you through it all. Don’t forget he knew the world needed a YOU… sass and all.

Alright friends, I am just going to say it… sometimes people suck. They just do. People are just not nice. Simple as that. Friends, pray for those people. Their actions are not about you… it is all about them. That is the best time to show people grace and Jesus. Now that does not mean you shouldn’t stand up for yourself and let people walk all over you. You are strong and brave. Don’t ever doubt or question your strength! Just remember to take three deep breaths or ten before you speak. Does what you are about to say going to add value?? That’s a line my dad would always tell me and still does. He is one smart cookie!

Next on the list was body image… I just feel that pull on my heart we need to touch on that topic another time. That could be an entire series. Here’s a little preview… we ALL have the same type of insecurities. We all think we are “fat” in pictures and really have no clue how to stand at the perfect angle to make us look skinnier. We all take multiple pictures to find that one that is “good enough” to post on our highlight real of social media. That blog post is coming. I have felt a pull on my heart to write about it for a while.

Still with me? Hope so! We are all nervous, scared, anxious, exhausted, and all have no clue what is on the horizon. Something I do know is God is in control. The war is already won and spoiler alert, he is the winner. He will equip you with the right tools, wisdom and people you need to carry out his purpose. Trust him even when you are questioning everything. I promise you, sweet and precious friend, he has your back. He loves you so much and trust me there is always good. Good always prevails.

As always, thank you so much for spending some of your day with me. Go live your life loud, bright and full of faith. Find the joy always and be the joy. Let God use you to carry out his purpose. This isn’t our forever home.

Talk again soon!

Amanda