Hi friends! I tried to write this blog post in November. Then again at the end of the year. Then again and again and again through January. Now it’s February. So if you are reading this, you know it finally got published. Woo!!

I grew a lot last year. Well let’s be real… that’s every year.

Some of the lessons I fully embraced in 2023:

• Bloom where you are planted.
• Friends are in your life for a reason, season or lifetime.
• Cherish the season you are in.

Bloom where you are planted.

I have always been an overachiever in life. I knew exactly what I wanted and I was going to make it happen come hell or high water. Then I got divorced and those “life plans” I had got thrown right out the window. I quickly accepted: it’s not my plan, it’s his.

Getting back on your feet after a divorce or any life circumstance is tough. For most people it takes time and truly feels like a huge set back. It definitely was a character building time for me. For the first couple of years, I definitely had more bad days than good days. Eventually the tables turned and I had more good days than bad days. Now it is very rare I have a bad day.

A sling shot has to be pulled back to fly forward… just sayin’! [insert wink]

The first year of being divorced was one of the best! Don’t get me wrong it DEFINITELY had it’s moments. I just focused on myself and kept myself super busy. I traveled, worked a lot and basically kept my calendar booked. My village poured into me and I made lifelong memories. I was a yes person. I had an attitude of I don’t give a f$#k about anyone’s opinion in regards to my life. I just went through the hardest thing I have ever been through and stood up for myself. I felt like I had the confidence of a superhero standing in their power pose with their cape blowing in the wind. Boss.

Then year two… 

Comparison, grief, anger, joy, healing, strength, resilience, sadness, doubt, courage, wisdom, grace… a lot of grace, the self-esteem rollercoaster with all the highs and lows, patience, kindness, understanding, peace and growth…

It was hard. It was messy. It was the year I learned I could feel so broken and so proud of myself all at the same time. Happy and sad could co-exist.

Years three to five were rollercoasters with more ups than downs. I had to grieve the life I thought I would have. I made new memories doing things that were tied to old memories. I started healing my soul. I got really good at knowing when I needed a therapy session and peeling back the emotion onion. Almost too good at times. I learned you have to sit in your feelings for them to process and pass. I received and gave a lot of love to my people. I took each day as it came and soaked up every moment. I had a new outlook on life. I finally understood the magnitude of the smallest and most simplest moments in your day-to-day life. I was blooming where I was planted all along.

Friends are in your life for a reason, season or lifetime.

Cherish the friendships that are in your life and give yourself space to grieve the ones that aren’t. Time will reveal what kind of friend they are.

Cherish the season you are in.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me:

When are you getting married?
When are you going to have kids?

I. would. be. fithly. rich.

Now I understand it’s a common thing to ask someone in their 20/30’s. Society norms and it’s an easy conversation starter. I also understand, when coming from friends and family, they are asking out of love because they want you to experience a great love, marriage, and parenthood. They want you to have the world and then some because you deserve it all and are definitely worthy of it all!

Let me just speak for everyone in their waiting period… questions like these bring on a lot of different emotions. Unfortunately, most of them are negative.

Some days those questions are easily answered and are no big deal. Some days they are annoying. Some days they are just echoes of the negative things someone said to themselves earlier. Some days they are gut punches. Some days they make you feel like you are “behind” in life. Some days they are reminders of what you used to have and what you don’t have anymore. Some days they hit harder than others and some days they have no impact at all.

You can always ask people, “What’s the good news?” or “Tell me something good!” or “Give me a life update! A real update… I’m good won’t work!” Keep it super broad and open ended. Trust me if they have updates in their relationships or personal life they will tell you!

We are all on social media and constantly have the highlight reels in our face. Then you have the comparison trap we all fall victim to at one point or another. Most of us have felt the pressure to be married, have kids and buy a house… like yesterday. It’s just plain exhausting. The highlight reels are in your face constantly. Every event you get asked the same questions. Oh and the flood of emotions when everyone around you is celebrating big moments and you are just hopefully waiting for your turn. You are so genuinely excited for your people and so bummed at the same time. It’s a merry-go-round.

I struggled with this merry-go-round for a while. I would get angry, annoyed, sad, and a long list of different emotions. I just wanted to be married to an amazing man with a beautiful family just living my dream life. I was so damn frustrated because I should already have all those things. I thought I would bounce back from my divorce like it never happened. (L O freaking L) Again, it’s not my plan.. it’s his. His timing and my timing just don’t always line up like I would want it to. Thank God for that!!

While I am waiting on his timing, I often feel like I am sitting with Jesus on a park bench. We are watching people make new friends, get engaged, married, announce pregnancies, have babies and grow their families. Some are on a fast track and others are a little slower path. Like an impatient toddler, I get antsy waiting so I get up and try to make it happen on my own. When it doesn’t, I see Jesus patting the seat next to him to come sit back down. So I have learned to just sit with him until he tells me it is time to get up.

It’s my waiting season. A season of rest, healing, and preparation. He knows I need this season of waiting, so as hard as it is some days I have learned to sit down and wait patiently with him.

This season is sweet though! It is filled with freedom, flexibility, self-discovery, peace, independence, spontaneous adventures, joy and minimal responsibilities. As sweet at it is, it also has its challenges. At times, it is really hard for me to just sit still and wait. I feel like I am missing my chance at certain things, moments and events I have always wanted. Allowing myself to feel all the negative feelings associated with missing out, I have come to terms that certain things may not ever come to me. I really struggled with it at first and now I have complete peace about it. Regardless of what my path is, I know everything will work out exactly how it is supposed to. When it is time for me to enter my next season I will be more than ready for it and will embrace it with open arms… whatever it is. I know this season has prepared me for it. Friend, the season you are in now is preparing you for your next season too.

I have felt every single emotion under the sun the past five years… good, bad and ugly. I grew into an incredibly strong, confident women that I am damn proud of. I went to many many hours of therapy. I spent the money and made the investment in myself. I put in the hard messy work of healing and fought for my old self and future self. It feels like I have learned more lessons in a five year period than my entire life. I finally starting journaling. I got in quite a bit of debt and am so close to paying it off. That is a huge private victory. I learned to trust again. I traveled a lot and made lifelong memories. I learned a lot about receiving and giving grace. Forgiveness is for you and a major part of your journey. I learned to love myself… truly and deeply. I also gained a confidence to stand firm in the decisions I make regardless of what people think or say. Most of all, my faith has increased exponentially over the past five years. I watched God work in so many ways in my life from big moments to the tiniest detail to the healing of my soul. True miracles happened right before my eyes. I got to watch it, experience it, and celebrate it. I felt God’s love deeply. I learned that his love is truly unconditional and his timing is absolutely perfect.

So friends, bloom where you are planted. Cherish the season of life you are in. Soak up these moments because as cliche as it sounds, you will never have these moments again. Love your people and be kind.

Don’t ever forget your worth and how much you are unconditionally loved by God! Oh my goodness he just totally adores and loves you!

Until next time,

Amanda