Hi friends! I have missed you! I went on a cruise a few weeks ago. Let’s just say it was so nice to unplug for a few days and to be tan again. I don’t know why, but I always feel better about myself when I am tan. If you can’t tone it, tan it! I love getting away and sitting in the sun. It is one of my most favorite things to do on the planet. I am very outgoing and will talk to anyone. At the same time, I recharge being alone and getting away. There have been some days I will sit in silence and stare at the ceiling. I just need to stop and chill out sometimes. Vacation does wonders for my soul.

I am learning that I am a “give it all” kind of person…to other people. I will help people, I believe in them more than they believe in themselves, go out of my way for people I care about, jump through hoops and climb mountains for those people. The problem is I don’t do that for myself. Ehh.

On the cruise we had the late dinner, and we were open to sitting with other people. The first night it was just us, but then the second night there was a guy sitting at our table. We started making small talk. You know the norm, “Where are you from? What do you do for work?” Surface level. Well he was a marriage and child counselor. Can yall guess what happened? Therapy session at dinner and guess who was in the hot seat? Me.

When you have someone, a complete stranger, call you on your crap and ask you the hard questions you think about things outside of the conversation. One thing that stuck with me was that I am really good at keeping people at a distance. I don’t let people in because I am terrified of getting hurt again, so I don’t even give them a chance. They could be the best thing since sliced bread, but in my world I don’t even give them a chance to see if they are. If I am being honest with myself, the friends I have in my life right now have all showed up in huge ways and didn’t let me push them away so I let them in and keep them there. Lord knows I hold on to them tight! When it comes to other people, nope. Especially new guys in my life… hell to the no. Of course, when you look at things outside-in you get real with yourself and peel back a couple layers of the onion. You also give yourself the cold hard truth… you know the conversations your real friends will have with you when they call you on your crap. Those. Here we go, friends.

Why am I so scared of being hurt? It isn’t fun. It is forever though? No. Do you grow and learn a lot through times of hurt? Yes. So WHY on Earth do I choose to stay with what is comfortable and not as scary?? Because it’s easier than getting hurt (duh!), which is so ass backwards it’s not even funny.

How do babies learn to walk? By falling a million times and getting back up until one day they stay up. Once they know how to walk, they never look back. That is how it could be for me and you. Really, it can be. It makes me queasy saying that because there is a lot of doubt in my mind when I say it can be like that. To let people in, not look back at your past experiences, and to move forward without fear. Do you feel the same?

Yall I will be the first to admit and my friends would all agree with me that I stop people at my driveway and tell them not to come any further. You are good right there! Something I am trying to be better about is letting people in and letting people pour into me like I do to them. Here’s the funny thing: I would be friends with anyone and love them like they were family. I would cheer them on, listen to them vent, cry or ramble on about random things like the weather, traffic, food, or whatever was on their little hearts. I would encourage and build them up to actually believe in themselves. I would be there for them whenever. I am the friend they could call at 3am and I would answer. They may have to call a couple of times because if you remember I do not get up on my first alarm. My alarm is the same sound as my ringtone, so you may have to call a few times. Eventually I would answer. I would talk to them or whatever they needed. I would be there until they were okay. I would just have a lot of coffee the next day. I am and would be that friend.

So why don’t I let people be that friend to me? I do and trust me I have amazing friends. BUT how many people are out there that could use a friend like me and how many people out there could be a friend like that to me? Probably a lot.

Yall. Jesus loved everyone. He tells us to love him and love our neighbor. Not to judge them or criticize them for whatever you think is right or wrong. Just love them for them. I have always said I would rather have quality over quantity and that is still true to this day. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a number on how many quality people I can have in my life. The more the merrier. Right?

My challenge to you and me (because we are in this together) is to put yourself out there. Let people in. Be a good and true friend to people so they have a chance to be a good and true friend to you. Love people for exactly who they are. Challenge them and encourage them. Be present.

Yall, it’s not easy and there will be times you doubt your self-worth and abilities so much you want to just hide in your house. Be brave my sweet friend. God has your back and I cannot tell you enough that your perfect and beautiful story is already written. He knows the ending and will NEVER bring you to something you can’t get through. If people hurt you, forgive them, be kind and move on. You are strong! You are smart! You are kind! You can change lives and make a difference. You do make a difference. Believe it and go be the good in the world. Be the friend that shows up and is there. Be the friend that jumps through hoops for them. Be the friend that listens and encourages. Be the friend you would want them to be to you.

As always, thank you for spending some of your day with me! It means so much! Have a wonderful rest of your week!! Talk again soon!

Amanda