33 and 8 days old.

Why is it around birthdays we reflect and our minds go to what we don’t have, what we haven’t accomplished, etc. If negative self-talk, limiting beliefs, not so nice opinions from yourself and others were each a basketball, they would be making nothing but net shots from half court.

It has taken some WORK to not get defensive when people make comments or ask certain questions. I am normally really good at letting things just slide off my back like water on a duck’s back. I understand these questions are coming from a place of love because people want you to have those things. Just sometimes they get through and damn do they stick.

Why aren’t you married? When are you getting married? Yall have been dating for how long? When are yall going to live together? You better hurry if you want kids. Do you even want kids? You are throwing your money away renting. When are you going to buy a house? If you want those things, what are you going to do to make them happen?

Those questions get under my skin sometimes.

So let’s spell it out… this is where I am at.

I am 33. I am not married. I have been dating someone for a while. We don’t live together and there aren’t many talks of an engagement ring or moving in together anytime soon. I am a dog mom. I don’t have kids. I am Aunt Junie to my niece and nephew and other little people in my life. I don’t own a home. I rent a cute little cottage that is extremely convenient to everything in my life. I paid all my debt off this year and that is an accomplishment I am really proud of. I have great friends and family. My lifestyle is supported by me. I don’t have financial help from a significant other. I am healthy. I am active. I have a great job. I travel. I am living my life as a 33 year old with two dogs and a boyfriend.

There are times when I do get sad thinking about my future and where I am at in life. In those moments, I do feel like I am behind. I question if I will just be single [meaning not married] for the rest of my life or if the desires of my heart will be met. Sometimes it is really hard to hold your faith in those moments. Especially when you hit another birthday and those desires aren’t met and it doesn’t look like they will be anytime soon.

The funny thing is deep down to my core… I am not sad… at all actually. I don’t feel like I am behind. I am content where I am at in life. I actually enjoy and embrace it. I am good. I am happy. I feel accomplished. I am confident in who I am. I am proud of my faith, resilience and strength. I am proud that I can go through tough moments with grace, strength and perseverance. I am someone that is kind and good to people even when they aren’t so kind to me. I give grace when I probably shouldn’t. I do and always have. I am genuine and authentic. I have a sweet soul. At times, the world has tried to steal that from me and I refuse to let it. I completely trust in my future and God’s hand in my life. If he wants me to be a mom, I will be a mom. If he wants me to be a wife, I will be a wife. Whatever he wants me to be, I will be. He will absolutely direct my path for his purpose and plan.

I have fought so hard for the person I am today. I feel like I am finally on solid ground again and quite frankly I am enjoying the ease of things. I just want to be here for a little bit. I want to catch my breath and just enjoy where I am at in life. I do feel accomplished and successful. At the same time, I know I was made for big big things! I will have so many accomplishments over my lifetime. I am just learning to bloom where I am planted. I am enjoying this season because Lord knows it can change in a second. He has your book and he is turning the pages. Only he knows when the next chapter begins. If you skip around the book, it just isn’t as good as when you read a book how it was intended to be read. So line by line, page by page, chapter by chapter, go through your book of life that was written by the most amazing author the way it was written. Enjoy the story he has for you. It is yours!

I have a sneaky suspicion he may just blow your mind a little with twists and turns, hard times and great times, and everything in between… if you just trust him.

So I challenge you to do just that… trust him. Stand firm in your faith that he has an amazing life for you. Bloom where you are planted and enjoy the view. Even if it is raining in your life right now, there is still beauty in the storm AND you can’t have flowers without the rain… just sayin’ [insert wink and a big ol’ grin].

Thank you Lord for 33 years and eight days Earthside. Thank you for this day and everything that has happened to get me to this exact moment. I love you. I honor you. I am just so incredibly grateful.

Last thing… I just want to remind you again that God is good and he will.

Until next time,

Amanda