Hi friends! My last post was all about boundaries and overcoming my not so favorite character traits. (You can read it here if you missed it.) I feel like some of them are partly self-induced from self imposed pressure, but all of them are just a part of my DNA. I recognize the impact (good and bad) they have and can have on my life, so I go to therapy to work through and create healthy coping mechanisms. I always tell Matt, “At least I go to therapy to deal with my crazy!” We all have some crazy! Therapy isn’t bad. It is equal to the gym for your mental health. I am just a huge supporter of both – physical and mental work! I am a constant work in progress to be the best version of me. Someone that loves me through it all and is my biggest cheerleader is my sweet mama! She is my go-to for all things in my life! We joke about me being her clingy daughter that calls multiple times a day. I call her on my way home from work every day. Even though we know exactly what we are doing we still ask each other, “What are you doing?” The older I get I feel like I am more and more like my mom. She is the very best and always knows exactly what to say. She is my best friend and someone I look up to! With all that said, why not do a Q&A with the one and only, my mama! Yall are in for a real treat!
Just so yall know, I am typing this exactly as she is talking, so these are the first responses that come to mind when I ask her the following questions. Enjoy!
Isn’t she the cutest??
- What did you want to be when you were younger?
M: My mom told me that I never wanted to get married and have ten kids.
A: Um… what?! Seriously.
M: That’s what I said when I was little, but I never really had a thing that was my true calling.
Joining the Air Force was a family tradition, but I was the first girl to ever go into the service. So I guess that’s it? - Tell me something funny about your mom.
My mom would always sneak off during hunting season to go to Reno. My dad would leave on a Friday and she would be hitting the airport about an hour later. He would come back on a Monday or Tuesday and she would come back right before he would come back. She would be dog tired from saying up the night before. She would always go with my Aunt Robin or Aunt Arlene. But supposedly my dad never knew. - Tell me something funny about your dad.
Umm… he wasn’t really funny. But he could make me laugh with stories at dinner. He would have milk coming our of your nose. But he was pretty serious and quite a softy at the same time. If there was an animal, butter. Humans, he was a hard ass. - What was your favorite food or snack as a child?
When my mom started dating my dad we would go visit. He would make spaghetti or pot roast. Of course with pot roast, nothing could touch until I was older. But his spaghetti. I could eat two plates at 10. As we got older, we would have contest of who could make better sauce. He always won. His spaghetti was the best! - What was your most prized possession as a kid?
I would say, and I still have it, but the chain is broken. A cross necklace that was my grandma’s. - What is the top three most important lessons you have learned over time?
– Be true to yourself.
– Love your family, always, even when you don’t like them necessarily… you know what I mean?
– Umm.. I guess… even though you always give yourself make time to take care of you. You aren’t any good to anyone if you don’t care of yourself. It’s easy to forget. - What are you most proud of?
My kids. [cue the tears] and having the marriage that we have. Especially coming from our history. - What is one piece of advice you have received and still live by?
The story I told you my whole life… no no no. My dad gave me advice when I got married, and we live by this every day. To always say I love you when you wake up, when you go to bed and when you are leaving. Give your person a kiss… and you know say I love you 100 times [insert giggle] before you hang up because you never know if that is the last time you will tell that person I love you and give them a kiss. Of course, we beat that to death because it’s true. You just never know. - Who inspired you the most in life?
Umm.. that’s a toss up because I would say my mom because my mom had a tough life with her marriages, raising three kids and working 2-3 jobs to support us. She always put us kids first. Then my other one would be my grandma.. because I think I am who I am because of her [cue the tears] because of the time we lived with her. - When was the first time you went on a plane?
Umm… after I graduated high school. My mom and I went on my graduation trip to Hawaii. - What is your favorite place you ever visited?
Hmmm…. Probably that Grand Velas Resort in Mexico. That was amazing! Beach wasn’t as good but the hotel was amazing. - How has society and the world changed since you were younger?
Umm… hmmm… the value of life is decreased. You hear of shootings everyday because someone cut them off. Umm… Patriotism. People willing to work for what they got. People today just want things given to them. They just want what they have without having to work their ass off for it. Luckily we have raised contributing adults. - What is the hardest thing you have ever done?
[Cue the tears] saying good bye to my parents when they died. Especially my mom.
[Cue the tears from both of us]
*Side note – my mom was holding each of her parent’s hands when they passed.* - What is some advice you would give someone in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s?
20’s – In your twenties… go and enjoy life! Be safe in what you do but have fun!! Find your lifelong friends, go to college, date, travel, umm… just have fun!
30’s – Hopefully by your 30’s you’ll find your person. Date, commit to marriage if you want that, travel, and have couple time before you bring kids into the equation (that could be in your twenties too). Take care of yourself, find your career, but don’t forget that your work is not everything. Even when raising kids, work will always be there but raising kids goes way too fast. Just enjoy it.
40’s – 40’s were kind of a blur… we were doing kid stuff. Enjoy your family time and all the things you are doing with your friends and family. Work hard so that when you retire you can retire in comfort.
50’s – Have fun! Usually you are empty nesters by then. Make sure you still love your spouse, which luckily I do. Find the thing that you all love to do. We had boating, so the hours and hours we spent with our kids and friends gave us life long memories.
60’s – 60’s is the new 40! Have fun so your kids tell you you have more fun than they do. [Insert giggles] - What is something you have always been good at?
Gosh, definitely not running – LOL! Is this PG version? LOL Umm just taking care of others and helping others. - How much was your annual salary for your first job? Did you ever struggle with money and if so how did you work through it?
First adult job was the Air Force. When I got out of the Air Force my salary was $14,000 or something crazy like that. How we lived I don’t know? Did I ever struggle with money? Well when you make $14,000 a year… [insert giggles]. Basically manage what you spend based on what you have. I was never a credit card person, so if I did put something on a credit card I would pay it off the next month. Then had a side job while I was in the Air Force. Half of everything I made in that job went in savings and the other half I could spend. So when I got out of the Air Force I had a nice little nest egg. - Top three relationship advice nuggets that you have used to stay married 30 plus years?
– Umm… well… always be respectful. Sometimes you may want to say something, but once you say it you can’t take it back. You know what I am saying right?
– Make time for each other.. especially when you have kids. Without an us there is no family. So you have to date and make time for your spouse. Kids are important, but not the most important. They will grow up and move out. You don’t want to be married 20 years and the realize you don’t like each other.
– And, let’s see… don’t get on the merry go round of I’m not doing this because you are doing that and then it spirals out of control. Well no… I guess the number one is when you get married you don’t go into it thinking if this doesn’t work out we will get a divorce. There were for sure conversations of this is not what I signed up for, but we worked through it. - When you were a child what did you do when you were bored?
Probably would read a book or play with my cousins. My favorite cousin, Kevin, and I were about the same age so we would play. If I was by myself, I would read. - What is something I still might not know about you?
M: Ummm… I don’t know… I am pretty much an open book. My bra size – LOL!!
A: That is true… I wouldn’t know! LOL
M: or my weight – LOL No one is ever going to know that! Okay, the doctor but LOL - What makes you feel loved?
Well depends on who it is. Just spending time with your dad and with my kids. Quality time. Also, when they tell me they love me 100 times when they say good bye. I guess it’s just the quality time when they say they want to spend time with me… spending time with Braxton too! - Top three places or things you want to do before you die?
– Umm make sure I don’t have the grey silver back in my hair… no one wants to see that [insert giggles]
– I would like to go to Italy
– and…. sell another house – LOL
*Side note – my mom is a realtor! She’s your go-to lady to help with all housing needs!* - Are there some things you wish you had done differently in life?
Hmm.. no. No. - What advice would you give me for where I am in my life?
Follow your heart. Stay true to you and don’t let anybody treat you less than you are [cue the tears] because you are pretty amazing! - What is the hardest thing about raising children?
M: Letting them fall on their face.. I haven’t quite mastered that.
A: What do you mean?
M: Just sometimes you have to let them find out the hard way and you can’t always bail them out. - What is the hardest age when raising children? (Their age)
Probably middle school because the girls are bitches, start of the hormones and the drama of middle school. Because the girls are bitches! They start being more independent. They want more freedom and they don’t get as much freedom as they want. Plus we didn’t have Life360 back then. [insert the giggles] - What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
M: Ummm…
A: First thing that comes to mind.
M: When a dear friend gave me a ticket to go see my parents. I don’t even remember why, what the occasion was or the details. - What are your God given gifts/talents?
M: Hmm.. definitely not laundry
A: [insert giggles] That’s where I get it from!
M: Umm being helpful. I have always liked helping people that need help. Umm.. it’s definitely not math. [insert giggles] I don’t know… being able to have a good read on people too.. intuition or whatever you want to call it. I don’t know what else. - What does success mean to you?
Umm… I guess having people I don’t know… I don’t really have a good definition for that… I guess work, but how many hours did I work? I guess being respected and loved by my family, peers and Braxton. Being a good Mamo! That’s it! - What has been the hardest thing for you to overcome?
Losing my mom. - What are your fears?
Not being there for my kids and grandson. - What has been your most stressful experience in life?
When dad has his pulmonary embolisms. - What do you still not understand?
Hmm… I don’t know. I don’t have a good answer for that… well why I can’t win the lottery [insert giggles].. you know the big one!! I do know the answer to that.. you have to buy a ticket to win. - What do you wish you knew more about?
Umm… umm…. um…. [insert giggles] first thing that came to mind was knitting and crocheting. - What is your most used kitchen item?
My wine opener – LOL! - Is there a moment in your life you can look back on that changed everything? If so, what was it? Did you know it would change your life in that moment?
When I met your dad. I didn’t know it would change everything. I just thought he was nice. I didn’t think in my wildest dreams I would marry a Texas boy and move down here. Here we are 38 years later with the family and love we have. - What is your favorite movie?
The Notebook. - How would you describe your parenting style?
Umm… which child? LOL Well… I mean. I don’t know… loving, strict, always there if you need me. I am willing to drop everything in a moments notice when they need something. Loving, supportive, and never the mother in law from hell. - What is your top three pet peeves?
M: Smacking! Slurping! Even though I slurp somethings… apparently. [insert giggles]
A: Just your coffee [insert giggles]
M: and then umm… I hate being late.
*Side note – slurping and smacking are both my pet peeves too! When I was younger my mom would curl my hair. We had to be quiet because my dad was sleeping in the other room. She would have her coffee and slurp. I would be so annoyed, but we would laugh so hard every time she went to take a drink. It made for some good memories and laughs!* - In what way is life harder or easier now?
Harder – Harder because I worry about the future and what I’m leaving behind. My family, spouse…
Easier – Easier because with age comes wisdom.. we don’t have to give a fu@% what anyone thinks anymore. - What is your favorite thing about dad?
[insert smile and giggle and then tears] Just that I know that he loves me no matter what. - What does he do that makes you feel most loved?
He just shows his love all the time in a million different ways. Every time we sit down to eat dinner or snacks or whatever he always leans over kisses me and says thank you for whatever it is. - What song describes your life right now?
Oh lord! I am the worst at that because I never know the name of songs… [gets out phone] – hold on! Thank you Lord by Thomas Rhett.
A: All done!! Is there anything else you want to add?
M: I didn’t know this Q& A would make me cry, laugh… I think you need to do it with your dad too! Super bowl night is not the night to do it though!
I just love and adore my mom!! Anyone that meets her just loves her too. She is truly such a sweet, sweet soul. I just pray one day I will be half of the mom she is. Because if that’s the case, wow my kids are blessed! A true woman of strength, class, resilience, high character, joy and love. I’m the lucky one that gets to call her mom!
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. Thank you mama for doing a Q&A session with me! Love you forever and always!! XOXO
Until next time friends,
Amanda
Gracefully, June 