Hi friends! It’s been some time. I actually have ten posts in draft mode that are not even close to being done. I just didn’t like the way they were going. So here we are… I have that “nudge” to write again. So Lord… what do you want me to write?? This is yours. Not mine.

Life can be a challenge… at times. Life is also so much fun. If you really think about it, everyone is striving to achieve something, be better, do more and make something of themselves. We all are dealing with issues, insecurities, and life stuff daily. I always say the hardest part of life is controlling what goes on between your two ears. Some people talk about their “life” problems and others keep everything to themselves. It doesn’t matter which you are or if you are somewhere in the middle. The main thing is this is your life. I often feel like I could do more, but don’t always have the energy or desire to. Maybe it is fear getting in the way or just as simple as I don’t want to. Who knows. I know one thing, I am living.

I always say a full day is when you experience every emotion. You laugh, cry, smile, are happy, get angry, etc. Heck you can have a full day just driving on I-45!! Phaha Just kidding… In all seriousness, life is about living. Some people are thriving and others are majorly struggling and I feel like a lot of us are in between. I personally feel like my life is a sweet struggle so I am in the in between group… let me explain.

I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, gas in my car, a job, running water and electricity, incredible friends and family. Regardless of those things, I still feel like I am falling short. I am “behind”. I will be 30 this year. I should be working towards marriage, kids, owning a house, etc. right? This is what the society norm of success is, right?

Well I have been married, I lived in a beautiful house with my husband, I wanted kids and then my life took a turn and I didn’t have any of that anymore. I was single, moved to a one-bedroom apartment, and kids were definitely not on my mind. I figured I would find the husband, buy the house, have the kids, and whatever else relatively quick because I was in my late 20’s and knew exactly what I was looking for.

LOL… oh how things change and oh how I needed to change. I needed to grow, heal and experience life.

I still live in that one-bedroom apartment. I am dating a great guy. I have no clue what the future holds and things may change, but for the season I am in right now I do not want to get married again or have kids. I will buy a house and a boat. I will always be a lake girl! People question me on the kid and marriage thing when they find out. It baffles them and they think it is not what I truly want.

Here’s my perspective on the whole thing:

First and foremost, it is not my plan it is his. I never thought I would get divorced and be where I am today. In my mind, I would be married, in a house, with a kid or two. It is also exhausting trying to plan or figure out the future. You make plans and then it goes down a different way. So I wasted all that time planning when I could have just been living. Second, I am truly happy where I am. I know I am right where I am supposed to be. I am soaking up this season. I am enjoying it. I love the peace and low responsibility I have right now. I am learning the lessons I need to learn and growing as a person. I am blooming where I am planted. For the first time in my life, I am not dead focused on achieving more. I am soaking up every second… good and bad. Trust me, this is a first for this go-getter, doesn’t take no for an answer, hard working, and driven girl. Third, I have complete peace about my future. I know it will be incredible. I know I will be able to get through the hard things and come out better. I don’t worry about marriage or kids because if it is in my future, great, it will happen exactly when it is supposed to. If not, there is something different in store. I know God will provide a sweet and incredible life for me. One that fills my mind, body, spirit and soul. I know it and feel it to my bones. My life is already promised.

I don’t know what I would “title” this season of life. Sweetness, peace, appreciation, just living… all of the above? I took life for granted in my last season. I didn’t appreciate life the way I do now.

In this season, I look for and pay attention to the little things. I look for the moments of growth, personally and in the people around me. I look for and take advantage of the times I can tell someone I love them, I am proud of them, and I verbally recognize the growth they have made. A majority of the time, they don’t even recognize how far they have come. Life should be celebrated!!! Words that build, encourage and praise people are and should be overused. Words can and will change someone’s life. Good or bad. They have an immense amount of power. The great thing about words is you can think before you speak. Now we aren’t perfect here and I have said things that hurt peoples feelings. I apologize and work to make the situation right. We learn the best lessons through out mistakes.

I look at each person’s love tank different. Each love language is a separate bucket and I want to overflow each one. I always say someone’s love tank can never be too full. Yes, we have primary love language, but let’s be real… everyone likes to be loved in each language. I show my love best through words of affirmation, acts of service and quality time. Gift giving is very unnatural to me. I have to be super intentional to fill that bucket. Regardless of my ability to fill each bucket, I work every day to overflow them for my people.

Another thing that has become a norm for me is being extra thankful. I used to take the little/normal things in life for granted or just expect them. For example, every night when I take a shower with hot water I say a little, “Thank you God for this hot water and the ability to clean my body every night!” Another simple thing I am so thankful for is the ability to fill my gas tank. I used to drive a small car, but totaled it in an accident in December. I drive a big SUV now and it’s a pretty penny to fill up. The fact that I have the money to put gas in my vehicle is such a huge blessing. God gets a thank you every time I put gas in my car. Another one is the ability to open my eyes in the morning. To be in comfy pj’s, snuggled up next to two fur babes, to feel the a/c, hear my alarm going off, and to get out of bed without a struggle. There are many things that get “thank you’s” as I go throughout my day. Sometimes I say it aloud and other times just in my head. I have my head on a swivel for God’s favor and the little (but very big) blessings in my life. I have proof every day that God provides exactly what I need and then blows that out of the water!

Basically I am in a season of complete appreciation for life. I am thankful for the struggles. I am thankful for my failed marriage and divorce. I am thankful for every single no I have ever received. I am thankful for each time life has knocked me over. I am thankful for the times I felt I wasn’t good enough. I am thankful for every rain storm. Because through all of that, I learned to dance. I learned to stand strong and firm in my faith. I learned God is good. I learned what things I have control over and what I don’t. I learned how rich my life really is. I learned how to be better and use my voice. I learned the power of laughter and healing your heart. I learned new skills and gained wisdom you only get after going through tough life moments. I have become a new person that has a great deal of self-worth, confidence and joy. I am confident in my future and my abilities. I know I have the tools, people and faith to get me through anything. THAT is celebrated every day. Even on the days I feel like I am behind in life, I am a failure or whatever negative self talk I tell myself. Every day isn’t perfect. Every day is just a chance to be better. Remember those are the character building days and those are just as important as the good days. It’s okay to not be okay. Just don’t wallow in it.

Friends, celebrate you. Celebrate life. Celebrate the little moments. Be happy. Be sad. Be better. Do a quick inventory on how far you have come. Looking back through pictures is a quick and easy reminder. Always always always remember, God knew the world that we are in today needed you. Just the way you are. Shine your bright light and celebrate all life’s moments!!

As always, thank you for reading along! I hope you feel empowered and loved after you read this blog. I know I do writing them. I believe to my core this is just a tool God uses to speak to you. I am just the messenger. Have the most incredible day!

Until next time,

Amanda