Hi friends! Let’s skip the small talk and dive right in. I am struggling. I struggle with a lot right now. Let’s walk through each one idivudally so you know you aren’t alone if you have EVER felt this way. We will talk about social media, poltics, people, body image, and maybe something else. That’s a good start for now. Grab your coffee… screw that! Grab yourself a margarita or whatever your adult drink of choice is and let’s get to talkin’!

First and foremost, I have such a love/hate relationship with social media. There are days I want to be completely off the grid and then others I love the connections made and information shared. Lately, I find myself comparing every single happy thing I see to myself and how I am not enough. PHAHA Lord. I can’t believe I just typed those words so you can read them. I told you when I first started this blog I would keep it real. A promise is a promise. Back on track… I am 28, divorced, no kids, living in a one-bedroom apartment and have felt I have gone “backwards” in life ever since my divorce. Well I really just feel that way when I get down in the dumps because I can be real dramatic sometimes and I just flip the cup over from half full to half empty in about 0.2 seconds.

Real life is I am 28, divorced, dating an amazing man, in a healthy relationship, surrounded by the best friends and family a girl could ever wish for, in a little bit of debt, working to create a better life for me and my two fur babes, and enjoying the heck out of life. That’s real. I am enough. I am right where I am supposed to be. You are too, my friend. Even if it’s a shitty season.

Politics, the news, articles on social media… is driving me insane. It is all over the place. You can’t trust anything you read unless you dive down and find the truth. Then the truth is terrifying and you just pray Jesus comes and takes you to Heaven before the world ends. It makes me feel hopeless and question what’s the point of working, traveling, etc. We have a few months and things are looking like they are going to get real cray cray. I believe it is extremely important to know what is going on in the world. I also wish I could be a little butterfly in the wind and have no clue what is going on at the same time. Regardless, this world needs Jesus in a huge way so in the meantime I am keeping it together, talking to people about the things I believe are real and true and constantly reminding myself I am not in control of really anything that happens. Not a single thing and for my controlling, type-a self… mehhh!! We are a hot mess express and constant work in progress over here. Just a little public service announcement actually LISTEN to people when they are talking. Don’t just hear what they say and immediately put them in a stupid little box that they are a “certain way”. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. You may learn something.

Speaking of prayer… I talk to Jesus a lot. I don’t pray the traditional prayer like Dear God…. That’s not my jam. I am more of a, “Hey God! I know you already know what happened, but I am going to tell you anyway.” I talk to him like he is my BFF. The best thing is you can tell him the same story 100 times and he never gets annoyed. It’s the best. I also, pray and voice my opinion of when I am mad, hurt and sad. Those prayers are more of a, “Hey God! Where ya at?! I just want you to know I am freaking pissed at your right now!! Your purpose is better and I know there is a reason to whatever you want to call this. Right now I am not a fan. Just wanted you to know. K. Bye. Love ya!” Normally those are said when I am crying in the shower because where else do you cry? It just washes your feelings away and sometimes you just need a good cry. I don’t like crying in front of people or where they can hear me. Like I said, we keep it real around here and people don’t talk about the struggles they go through. We just love peaches, sunshine and all the joy. Which I do too, but when you don’t talk about the struggles people experience they feel 10X worse about themselves when they do struggle. It brings all the feelings of not being enough, hiding their feelings from people out of embarrassment because they think people would judge them if they knew how they were really feeling. I have been there before and sometimes still do feel that way.

In most cases though, when you open up to someone about your struggles they are supportive, encouraging and have been in very similar shoes before. Most people just don’t like sharing the bad/ugly of their life… who does?! To keep it simple, friends, he wants a REAL relationship with you. He loves you through it all. Don’t forget he knew the world needed a YOU… sass and all.

Alright friends, I am just going to say it… sometimes people suck. They just do. People are just not nice. Simple as that. Friends, pray for those people. Their actions are not about you… it is all about them. That is the best time to show people grace and Jesus. Now that does not mean you shouldn’t stand up for yourself and let people walk all over you. You are strong and brave. Don’t ever doubt or question your strength! Just remember to take three deep breaths or ten before you speak. Does what you are about to say going to add value?? That’s a line my dad would always tell me and still does. He is one smart cookie!

Next on the list was body image… I just feel that pull on my heart we need to touch on that topic another time. That could be an entire series. Here’s a little preview… we ALL have the same type of insecurities. We all think we are “fat” in pictures and really have no clue how to stand at the perfect angle to make us look skinnier. We all take multiple pictures to find that one that is “good enough” to post on our highlight real of social media. That blog post is coming. I have felt a pull on my heart to write about it for a while.

Still with me? Hope so! We are all nervous, scared, anxious, exhausted, and all have no clue what is on the horizon. Something I do know is God is in control. The war is already won and spoiler alert, he is the winner. He will equip you with the right tools, wisdom and people you need to carry out his purpose. Trust him even when you are questioning everything. I promise you, sweet and precious friend, he has your back. He loves you so much and trust me there is always good. Good always prevails.

As always, thank you so much for spending some of your day with me. Go live your life loud, bright and full of faith. Find the joy always and be the joy. Let God use you to carry out his purpose. This isn’t our forever home.

Talk again soon!

Amanda